Supergirl
by Shirai Hisaishi
Summary: She can fly in a way no one has ever imagined. This is an ambiguous reflection of a disillusioned girl saving someone important, after her friends failed to see right through her. (Hero-stand-alones, Two)


A/N: this is one of the stories I planned posting before I stop posting for sometime.

Summary: She can fly in a way no one has ever imagined. This is an ambiguous reflection of a disillusioned girl saving someone important, after her friends failed to see right through her.

 **SUPERGIRL**

Bubbly soul trapped in an introverted shell, I knew it all along. Rin Kagamine seems to appear like a reserved person until she uncovers herself to you. It is rude of me to call such personality a "sham" or something, saying that alone is becoming unfriendly. That is definitely not my role.

She literally hops on her every step as we walk home together, her short blonde hair bobs along with her controlled leap. Why is she so jubilant today? This day is just like every other day we have in school, and nothing _new_ happened to her today. Teachers are normal, our seatmates are _okay,_ so why is she like this?

"Hey. Hey, Miku." She called, face turned up to stare at the sunlight peeping through the leaves of the trees above us. If I am to be asked, I will not recommend her being too dramatic like that, we are not in an anime or a drama show so quit the dreamy face and aura already. We are walking along a public place, almost passing through a busy street filled with people busy with their business. Wow, that's almost a tongue twister. I should try better.

Other words, I did not respond and I continued walking in silence instead.

"Hey, Miku! Why zone in the middle of walk?" Rin asked, squeaking like a chipmunk with that suppressed laughter. I gazed down at her and rolled my eyes and chose to focus on the road than looking at her boring face.

Why? Because it is more appropriate if I ask her what she just asked me. It doesn't sound stupid at all. She is the one daydreaming, not me. What's up with staring on the _komorebi_ and the like? Maybe, I must gave her a word about stopping to watch shows like that.

"I am not zoning." The heap of people multiplied, a lot more youthful _entities_ countered us, wearing the same uniform. They are on their way to school, while Rin and I are already leaving. "Look where you're going. I will laugh at you if you crash to someone or something."

"You always talk in rhymes. Are you a _rapper_?"

Insulting. How else can I put it? I kept quiet (again) and focused on the road.

"Hey, Miku."

"What?" This time, the warm summer breeze blew against us, and the uproar of the cars on the road became clamorous. I didn't mean to sound grumpy, but in times like this, one could not avoid raising his/her voice.

And being offended was not something drawn on her face at this moment. As I said earlier, she was a bubbly soul trapped in an introverted shell, so she was just smiling. She got that look on her face like _I-am-excited-to-tell-you-something-ain't-it-obvious._

Her bright cerulean eyes widened as she stared at me as though she was some anime character bent a little towards me (because I'm towering her), waiting for a perfect dramatic timing to confess something (or wanting to devour me like a mad lion). My forehead was already crinkled and my brows were puckered-why is she taking so long to talk?

Rin waited several seconds to make the dead-air thick and dreamy.

Say it already!

"If you will be given superpowers, what will it be?"

I pushed the sling of my bag further to my shoulder and continued walking. Rin called me, asking me to wait for her. But it was an impetus for her to stop messing around. I practically lost few minutes of my wonderful time puckering my brows with her _whatever-you-may-call-that,_ also known as, dramatic pause (in public). Totally unnecessary, that's all I have to comment.

"Hey, don't ignore me! We will depart roads from here, you know. So, Miku? What is it, tell me? Hurry!" She went back hopping beside me, more energetic than earlier. Her knee-length school skirt lifted a little while doing that-my peripheral vision couldn't be mistaken.

I was just quiet but I _had_ a lot in mind. I just chill out and tell no one about it. Senior high school students don't talk about these things. Talk about it and you'll be called nerd. Call me nerd and I'll tell you, ' _my pleasure'._

 _So,_ back to her question. Of course, I _have_ a lot of things in mind. I don't bother telling her, that's all. Even if she won't ask me, I still _have_ it in my mind. Mind reading is one, but after debating its pros and cons, I consider dropping it. I think it's invasion of privacy, so I really don't want it. Albeit I really want to know what my classmates think-but if that means I can read their silent prejudices about me, I really don't want mind reading powers. Never.

Invisibility too, I think it's a cool ability to have. And to pass through walls or any solid objects. But I am already invisible, unnoticeable, ghostly and some sort like that, so I don't have to bother dreaming to possess this superhuman skill.

I pondered about this thing for sometime already, but I based most of my answers from _X-men._ Too nerdy, really. It so happened that I watched this (the animated one) when I was seven. I couldn't forget it.

"I want to fly." I told her.

IT IS TOO SIMPLE. I know that Rin thinks of it that way, I can tell it from the way she puckered her lips and the way she nodded her head after hearing my answer, obviously displeased with my chosen power. She might have expected something more nerdy from me.

"Just to fly?"

"Yes."

"Aw," - okay. Now, that's rude. - "I want to read minds and move things. Telepathy and telekinesis, ain't it cool?"

I shrugged and waved her a hand, walking straight ahead while she stopped to cross the road. "See ya!" She yelled and I just waved my hand again, not even bothering to glance back. Somehow, our brief talk about possessing a superpower brought me back in a reality where such thing never existed in this world . . . and that possessing one would not make you a full-time hero.

People don't know how to define what is a hero, or what makes a hero. But if they will trouble themselves hanging out (in shadows) with a mediocre person like me, I won't mind _showing_ them what makes a hero.

This thing surely counts as a characteristic of a real hero: A HERO IS A WEAKLING SAVED BY OTHERS.

I was a misanthropic shit after middle school. Being the cream of the top (I'm not bragging, but it doesn't mean I'm a genius or something), my friends were my friends because they wanted to. Or was I too blind to see the truth back then? I had this best friend, Mew, and we had the ideal friendship. I ate my lunch in their house during schooldays, she would wait for me to finish my training sessions in school, she would give me message cards, I'd write her letters . . . but at the last school year for middle school, Diva told me that Mew faked everything. She said she received a call from Mew telling her the problems that girl was going through, and Diva advised her to contact me since I was the best friend.

'She isn't a best friend.' Diva told it bluntly, quoting the exact words from Mew. 'I'm just using her to help me with my home works and exams.'

For all the time, I was blinded by her sacrifices for me. I was the most despicable student back then, people say that my intelligence brought disaster on my personality. But Mew faked everything. What a shame. Why didn't I see that? And I realized that late, it was true. I was always willing to let her copy my works. Everything. I was fooled.

And beginning that day, I doubted people. I hated people trying to befriend me because I knew it enough. To use my eyes to unveil people's real intentions, I knew I couldn't be mistaken again. I shut myself away from people, I was rough with others, I wasn't friendly anymore.

Other words, people loathed me more than ever. They distanced themselves from me, knowing that I would not hesitate bad mouthing people as long as it is true, and I wouldn't mind arguing with guys. I would punch them with all might. I was a cold stone hardened by distrust and frozen by pretense.

I wouldn't be fooled anymore.

It was the second term in my first year in high school when I meet Rin Kagamine. She never stood out in my eyes. Other than her name, her face and her excellence in Math, I wasn't acquainted to her that much. I never talked to her. It was until I was sent to participate in an interscholastic scientific quiz, me, being the representative of my year. I was the only girl among the representatives of our school, the rest of my colleagues were my seniors and they were all male. One of them was Rin's older brother, Rinto, who was a year older than us.

I was amazed with her brother, he was a smart lad. He won the championship for his division, and I fortunately brought home the silver in my own division. Then, when I was back in school, I tried talking to Rin about her brother. She mistook me for liking her brother, and I told her that I was just astonished with how bright her brother was. Well, all of my senior colleagues were, but I couldn't approach them because they were way too older and austere.

Beginning that day, Rin tried befriending me. I was awkward at first because she was like 'wow! Aren't you saying a lot to me?' But I was wrong. She sent me friendly letters, the first ones I got in high school, and they were worked hard for. The letters were cut out of magazines, she filled it with sensible quotations . . . and all that I could remember was the line she wrote. She asked me if we _could_ be _best friends._

I smiled when I read that. A bitter one, a bitter smile tainted with my unpleasant memories of the last best-friendship I had.

 _Betrayal._

 _Lies._

 _Do not agree._

 _It will be the same fate, I'm telling you._

Those were the thoughts that were instantly born inside my head after I read that line. I couldn't risk again, if in the end I would be all alone. I turned her down by writing a letter.

My bottom line is: _If I am not what I am now, I would like to be your friend. You can be a good best friend, only if I believe best friends. Sorry._

Perplexed after learning the truth, she told that to her brother. Rinto called me antisocial, Rin said. But I smiled at her and said that I couldn't trust people anymore, however being antisocial is too much. But maybe he was right.

The next thing I knew, she asked the heck out of Diva (they were seatmates during our English class) to know what made me the cold stone I was. And surprisingly, Diva told everything. And so, I received a new letter from her. She would do everything to make me believe in _best friends_ again.

 _Lies,_ my mind whispered. _These are lies. M_ ew is as persistent as she is. I cannot commit the same mistake again. It is an antagonistic laughter that resonated from me as I read that letter, and the picture of Mew flashed in my head like a painful reminder. I don't want to. I don't want to...

I don't want to be alone.

No, I'm used to this. I am always left alone when the class is being asked into groupings, so I'm used to this. I can be fine.

"Why don't you give it a shot?" Diva asked me one time when we ate lunch together. Diva was a best friend before, but after I dismissed that shit, she was a close friend.

"She'd be wasting her time." I answered, munching blankly on my food. "You know that I'm afraid of that."

"But she is a good girl." Her argument is pointless for me.

"Everyone is," I countered, "until they have wicked thoughts. I knew enough."

"But she isn't a dumbass like Mew. You know that. She is smart enough to see that you're a good friend, you know." Plates clattering, Diva propped her elbows on the lunch table and stared at me, fingers crossed. "She is kind enough to endure your meanness, if I may say so."

Coldness seared through my eyes as I held her stare, and we were like that for some minutes. I huffed and pushed my plate aside, "you know, I have to go. I'll think over that thing." I left Diva alone in the cafeteria and walked home alone.

It wasn't long when I wrote Rin a reply letter. Seriously, we can just text each other (but I don't have a phone yet). Whatever muse was casted on me like a pokeball thrown to me, I told Rin that I would work it out. We would be best friends.

We have a lot of similarities, we clicked. Diva was back being a best friend too. In a nutshell, I am best friends with two blondes. Rin was the most outstanding student of our class. Being in a special class, that means a lot. I was only the fourth.

Sophomore year came, we're still good dudes. Seatmates with Diva at the back of the class-but we were never the belligerent people of our class. Ironically, those who were seated in front were the misbehaving people. And we weren't in good terms with those people in front. This special class was shuffled, and we never heard of these people's existence until today.

But it wasn't so long when Rin and I fight on things. Even Diva couldn't mend us, I was so mad. I couldn't recall the reason why we fought, it must be something serious. It must be _that_ serious because I tore Rin's friendly letters into shreds, and I wrote her a note how disappointed I was. _I was fooled enough to believe with her promises, she was a liar. She was just like Mew._

How and why we reconciled, I can't remember. But as I read her birthday card to me, we actually get along again. And I know, from then on, that she and Diva will not leave me alone. Because we are bubbly souls when the three of us are together, I begin trusting people.

 _Thanks to her, I am saved from being alone._

SUPERHEROES DON'T NEED SUPERPOWERS TO SAVE PEOPLE. Honestly speaking, this should be the top characteristic. Saving people doesn't have to be epic or heroic. Saving them can be anything that will move them away from that black tile where they are standing, like a pawn in a chess game, even if that means they will be eaten away by the opponent.

The sophomore year, like what I said, was a year filled with strangers. Those people seated in front were a bunch of entities I could not handle. Imbeciles, newts, they were like that for me. I knew that they despised me as much as I loathed them, anyone could see that because they were mean to me. And with that said, I never showed a kind bone to them. I tried ignoring them many times, but due to the randomness of our teachers-especially our Algebra instructor, I ended up grouping with them.

 _That_ was the worst point of my high school life. I was an authoritarian leader, a perfectionist hardheaded group leader who wouldn't spare members who'd be late in meetings, who'd care less about the group meetings, or who'd be good for nothing. My strictness left an imprint to them until my name was blackened to their group. My pleasure, I wanted to tell them that it was my pleasure treating them kindly that way. I wouldn't go easy on them. Especially to that Bruno? He was the worst.

If my memory didn't fail me, I think the worst of Bruno I had seen was when our Biology class held a debate. I couldn't remember what was the talk, but of course, I was one of the active speakers of our group. Lucky me, _that_ newt was on the opposition. Bruno was raising an irrelevant placard, claiming, "roses are red, violets are blue . . ." blah blah. It was a romantic _whatsoever_ that was familiar to me (or to anyone in general), but the purpose of that being yelled in the debate? I couldn't figure it out.

It was unrelated with Biology so I scowled at them and raised a message too. It was like this, _"roses are red, violets are blue, and apples turn brown due to oxidation."_

To sum it up, I made few friends in that class, let alone acquaintances.

But the things mentioned above were not the highlight. I think it was when I reconciled with a childhood friend from the Class-B. He was Len Kagamine, whether he was related to Rin or not, I couldn't tell. But I used to ship him a lot with Rin when we were in our first year high. I mean, they were both good in Math, both grumpy with each other-same rule applies, opposites attract. He was removed from the special class for he was not able to maintain his grades, but he, _somehow,_ stayed in tact with us. He and Diva were good buddies.

As of me, we were classmates since first grade until we finished middle school, and until first year of high school. We were seatmates in our first grade, and I could remember how we always hangout after classes when the school bus wasn't around. Our friend, Yuma, declared a silly club and we were members. "Sponge Bob Club," he said, prancing his hands like a millionaire. "Miku, you'll be Sandy! Len! You'll be Patrick!" And of course, Yuma was Sponge Bob.

But I think Len suits to be Sponge Bob, and Yuma be Patrick. And me? Plankton, or Squidword. Base this on colors.

Our first club activity was exploring the new cemetery near the school. That was one of the most freaking wandering I've done all my life, I never have entered a cemetery without my parents. It was a new cemetery, not fully developed, and there was a hanging bridge above the running river. The yellowish hills waited at the end of the hanging bridge, with a large oak tree standing amid the nothingness, and from a distance, a hunted hut stood alone.

While crossing the bridge, I thought of the bones of dead pirates lying beneath us, albeit pirates had nothing to do with a dingy river. Yuma's older sister was with us, Flower, and she was walking ahead of me. Well, actually I was clinging on her skirt. When I saw a large ant cross her foot, I screamed like a banshee and ran out of the cemetery, with the whole gang chasing me.

So, when high school came, and when Len was transferred to a different class, Rin and Diva was the company I have. He thought I was mad at him for getting kicked out of our class, but I wasn't. But I'd like to see him with us next school year.

Nevertheless, I always (well sometimes) spend study hall with him and the other two blondes, having no intention to leave him just because he was kicked out of special class.

 _Friends will always be together, and that fact will remain forever._ I wrote this line in a poem I composed for him, but was never sent (yet). The message to be conveyed was, I will never leave him. _Once a friend, always a friend,_ and I hope he also had that thing in mind.

I can stay forever the way I am, if I want to, if they wish me to. Anything just for the friends I have; Rin, Diva, and Len. It's like one the books I've read before, where the main character has a strong friendship with her buddies, and I see these buddies in Rin, Diva, and Len.

At this point, I felt myself changing. I learned how to trust again.

Len's birthday came, and I made sure to give him the poem. He smiled upon reading that poem, and I would never forget it-that smile. He was happy seeing it, that made me glad too. But I wonder if he conveyed the message, or if he just saw it as a nice piece of art?

"Thank you, Miku! Thanks Diva! Thanks Rin!"

At the end of the day, his goofy smile was all that I remember. His smile signified that the misunderstanding between us was mended. I wasn't mad, but maybe I was disappointed. Somehow.

But looking on the bright side, he was saved from doubt.

When I watch superhero movies, I think all heroes are kindhearted people. They are always true howbeit their identity shouldn't be exposed. Therefore, SUPERHEROES ARE HONEST PEOPLE WITH DISHONEST MOUTHS. Why is this so random? I think they are always honest. Well, I'm not sure. I think they are. But they don't blurt out truth, aka their real motives.

I think I know why.

Ain't it easy to achieve things when you keep it secret?

Wait, "ain't" is not even a word.

Since sophomore year was known to be _my_ reign of tyranny, a lot of my new classmates were afraid talking to me, and eventually concluded that I, Miku Hatsune, was not a nice person.

When we moved to junior high, I was an ill-famed _entity_ in class. Len never made it back in the special class. I was with Diva and Rin, as usual, but that didn't last. Our homeroom teacher assigned a crappy sitting arrangement and I was taken away from my fellows. Even though I truly wanted to object (because my new seatmates never sat with me), our teacher would laugh and ignore my plead.

Aoki was my seatmate. I wasn't really close to her in any ways, but she was the top student of the class last year, and I was only next to her. Rin was third this time. She was kind and outgoing, humorous at some time. I was surrounded with people I never imagined sitting with, especially most of them openly declared their hatred towards me.

And when I say people who openly declared dislike towards me, that is Clara.

I am quiet like a shit on my seat, every freaking day, just to avoid saying something unnecessary to my seatmates. I buy snacks on my own and glue myself on my seat. Surviving this unlikely scenario makes my head hurt.

Day by day, I have to witness how they bluntly copy each other's works, do their homework in class, cram in everything, muster the guts to copy my works-and being outnumbered, I am forced to give up my notes. But when in times of need, Aoki helps me with Math. I really hate my Math subjects.

Their outlook of me gradually changed. As if it's a miracle, I was able to befriend them. But that didn't mean they could just say, "wow! You changed a lot! You know how much a _badass_ you were last year, right?" I want to spit on their faces.

I told Aoki about it for we walk on same road to home. But she bluntly agreed to them. I tried explaining that I wasn't really _that_ bad. I wasn't bad at all. These people never had the time to know me, and I never let them, that's all. I was a good person (believe me, please) and it happened that they (you too, Aoki) were not intimate with me. Prejudices!

My attitude towards them last school year was only put up to straighten their I'll selves-they were a group of people who'd gossip and cheat on class, you know. But of course, as usual, this thought was kept in my internal dwelling and _I could never tell Aoki the truth._

Like she's _gonna_ believe me, anyway.

But the highlight of this episode in high school isn't that one. It is when I noticed this transferee in our class. I haven't heard of her name, I can't remember her face-basically, I don't know that she is a classmate until the homeroom teacher assigned the new seating arrangement.

She was sitting with Rin back then, so whenever I would be engaged with a quick banter with the blonde, I could see her. That time too, I was introduced to her. Gumi Megpoid. She was beautiful and simple, and her beauty would be seen easily. It was her face, it was really pretty and if one would stare longer, they'd know how cool was the proportion of her face. Even though we were introduced to each other, along with the other transferee, Xin Hua, I could not stop nudging a cold shoulder.

It was awkward. I was never nice to acquaintances and smiling at them when Teto introduced us, and beat the crap out of me. I was nervous, so after we exchanged smiles and Hi's , I turned away and talked to Rin. Meanness was not intended to be showed but - okay, it's just me, I'm really like this - yeah.

Gumi, as I said already, is a beautiful girl, with beauty easily noticed. She has this boyish aura (or maybe I'm the only one thinking like that). She gets to school and goes home with her bike. You won't see her wearing the school skirt when going to school, or when going home, for she has to change into her pants to have a comfortable ride. Well, that's the part where I think she is boyish. But that makes her cool. I mean, riding the bike, caring less whether it's hot or not.

She has this taciturn atmosphere, but isn't shy whenever she has to present in class. Her voice is so vivid and wonderful, simply convincing without traces of being nervous in front people. Thus, she is liked by everyone. Our teachers noticed her beauty, her voice, as much as our classmates liked her. That left me in awe, to be able to stand in front and talk as if you know these people before - I don't even have that kind of confidence.

If I have that, what will I be able to tell people?

Can I convey things vividly just like her?

One morning, out of pure coincidence, I saw her walking down the road towards the high school. The sun was about to rise, I could recall how faint the blue sky was, and the road was wet due to the heavy rainfall last night. Of course, she was the new kid in class, I should be good to her. That's what I thought.

I almost fainted in mustering the courage to talk to her. Luckily, I reached her sighed and greeted her a 'good morning'. Fidgeting, I tried talking to her with hopes the she didn't notice how nervous I was. Initiating talks and the like weren't my things, so I was glad it ended good. Albeit I only asked her where she lived, why transfer to a public high, why not bring her bike today (though I know the reason). I even ranted about her seatmates being Math wizards.

She was not even alienated in the class so I don't have things to make her feel comfortable. But I had to cheer her up, and commend her effortless effort to be an unlabeled person in class.

"You're such a nice person, our classmates liked you easily! Even I, I was amazed with your presentation yesterday. I thought you're shy like me, looks like I stood corrected." Means, congrats! You won't suffer.

At least, this was one of the few interactions we had, or this was the only thing I could remember. After Gumi, Xin was the girl I have to deal with. When we're put in a group to film, I made her one of the lead roles. Other than the fact that she had that pretty face, she fairly fit the role. However, that first real engagement we had, never made me fascinated about her. She was just like any classmates I had, and I couldn't consider her a person. I mean, look. If _you spend time with someone, you'd realize why they are worthwhile._ But we hadn't spend a little personal moment to talk, other than me asking how was she, did she memorize the script, etc., etc.

The next interaction we had was when we have to do a musical play, and Rin and I were the scriptwriters and directors. Xin's voice enabled her to the lead roles, together with Aoki and Galaco. I was always asking them to sing the songs from the play, practice harmonizing their voices, hit the notes correctly, and those craps...until one time, Aoki got mad at me.

I force people to do what they can't, she says.

Was it her and her singing? Was she f**-ed up or something? She was known to have a good voice and talent. If I was good enough, I'd take it, mind her. I wouldn't put her in place if she wasn't good with it.

Go blow up yourself or what not. I was firm and unchanging with the characterization, and we had practiced half of the script. So, Aoki screwing up the tale? No, thank you.

From then on, I'd look after Xin and listen to her. Though she failed some notes, she was persistent to get it right. I liked her, beginning that day. Xin was doing her best in acting and singing, even if she wasn't used to it a lot. Like me when I do socializing, it felt estranged to me, but I wouldn't mind trying.

But at the end of all these things, I always find myself repulsing interaction. I wanted to befriend them, but I couldn't bring myself to do so.

Reminiscing all these things make my head hurt. I haven't noticed that I reached another crossroad. Another important choice must be done. With a sigh, I crossed the road to get home as soon as possible.

In the end, I can't be a hero. I failed my own standards, eh?

Maybe, I'd stick to the superpower alone and stop trying to make myself a hero. I'm a weakling. No one knows all my lies. God maybe, for he is omniscient. He might be disappointed to me.

I keep on hurting people with my cynical self. What a distaste.

Have I mentioned three or four qualifications of a hero? Man, I'm forgetting a lot. I ran my hand on my teal tangled locks, dried by the raging noon sun. This road, I've been down here before but funny it is, no one notices the change along the same path. But my dilemma here is my hair, it stuck up altogether. They thought they're best friends who reunited.

But I think, I have another qualification to add. SUPERHEROES ARE FREAKING ATTENTION WHORES. They attract too much attention when they are in action, (Wow, that rhymed. Rin would think I'm a rapper,) whenever they save people, or if they show off their powers. But, hey, I think that's normal.

Really, Miku? You're so fucked up. You don't have the courage to curse, right? But you're an enough reason to swear to yourself. You're a fiasco, Miku. That won't change.

I can never be a hero for I'm asking different attention.

There is this person Rin introduced to me when we're in sophomore year, his name is Kaito. He is a guy from a private high, and we rarely (to never) meet. But he became a good friend.

We talked a lot.

We became best buddies.

I knew a lot about him.

He knew a filtered truth about me.

As I talked to him, I realized why Rin liked this guy (even if she denies it).

Kaito was in a relationship with my classmate, Meiko (I think so), but this woman never looked serious to him. Gorgeous though she is, she flirted a lot. If he only knew. Because of his bond with Meiko, I distanced myself a little to him, knowing that guys pick girlfriends first than best friends.

But whenever I find myself losing my track, and I can't tell people about it, I always tell him everything (about what I feel, only).

And it happened again and again, I'm becoming lonelier day by day - and I always ring him about it. But soon, maybe he got tired of hearing my breakdowns, he no longer took me serious.

Soon, I felt like we departed into different seas.

I'm alone.

We only talk lengthy when its about Meiko. Just about Meiko. That's sad. He might thought of me as someone seeking attention too much. Well, that's quite true. Who on earth could this be lonely like always?

Whenever I feel so down, I'd tell Kaito how bad I feel, and he'd comfort me. But it happened so often, that he eventually got tired and frankly told me that I am, indeed, seeking too much attention.

Only he knows the things I can't tell my friends. And I'm telling him everything, everything, because maybe, just maybe, he will . . .

So, this is not how heroes demand attention.

But the best features of heroes?

They are HEAR-oes. Heroes hear silent cries and SOS from people asking help. But I don't think I have helped enough. I selectively stretch a hand to people and pull them out of their pit. Why? I have . . . I have this weird way of helping people.

Say, one is stranded in this sea. She asked help, I was towering and clean. I'd pull her up, but pulling her up means I have to fall and replace her place, and be indulged to her dilemma. With that I can truly understand her. But whenever I do, I became . . . lonelier, but glad to help people out.

But I am a hero. Because I can hear the SOS from my heart that no one heard, even if we're too close to each other. I wonder what kind of help shall I give myself?

Oh Gauss, Miku. You suck when explaining.

 _Whatever_. Rin is to be blamed why I almost reflected all my way home. This deserves a pleasant afternoon nap or a good night rest. But I'm afraid of sleeping. Dreams are my reality, and the world where I belong is . . . horrible. Worse than my social life.

I am from a world different to the tangible earth. It's a place where I originally belong, where powers and magic are real deal - where I have the ability Rin asked me what I wanted to have. But it is connected to the tangible earth, and my troubles here are my troubles there. That world has become pretty lonely and grim for the past days. This is not the talk of a senior high school student, but I am telling the truth. There is a world beyond what one can see with his eyes.

I'm coming home.

My normal days begin at the edge of that dome, I am pulling out a deadly act. It might be _deadly_ but not in that place, not in that world. Glancing back at Teto, her red hair shone in the dark as I slipped my foot on that little fraction where I stood - I fell from that dome, and down I cascaded like a raindrop from a cloud.

I was afraid. But it's not going to be my end, I believe.

The friction between my skin and the air tickled my soles and palms as I fell endlessly, my mind suddenly incorporated aerodynamics, and maybe then I could fly. I spread my legs and arms wide like a chipmunk jumping off a tree, and it worked like an imagination. The fall slowed down, and I landed on the ground briefly, then leaped again. This time I flew through the city lights, with an undying smile on my lips directed to Teto from the dome.

I thought I was Peter Pan dressed like Wendy that night I flew.

I happily went through the narrow gaps in between the hanging signage, as I flew higher and higher. The air was cold but comforting, and its quiet above the city. The stars looked brighter when the city lights shone below you, as though they were near and I could reach them easily. I wanted to take them with me, but I knew I couldn't do that. They were far and hard to reach, or maybe, they could never be reached.

That night was spent endlessly, flying like I was invincible. However, I was afraid of stepping back on earth, for once I did, that might be the last time I could leap in the sky. And it happened soon, this blissful memory was wrapped in the reality's disillusions.

But Teto. What was she doing there, anyway?

The next nights, the world was dark and lonely. Home never felt this sad, and I knew that this place before me is a shadow of future. A boy came to me, his hair blond like his golden eyes. He said he was Oliver. As bubbly as Rin, he talked my ears off.

What didn't surprise me was that he was my classmate in university.

But I'm still in senior high.

I smiled at him and talked to him, treated him like I treated my friends in the tangible earth. He was fun to be with, interesting and kind. He had a group of people with him, a circle he said where I belong. He was kind but I was mean. I just knew something wrong is going on.

If this is a shadow of the future . . . I must have done something to make it shady. I looked back at him but he is already fading much like a shadow, in a shadow. As though he is pulled away, the distance between us widened, and no matter how hard I chase, I can't step a foot forward.

"Oli-" my voice stopped itself from coming out, and the shadows whirled at my back. I lost the door back to the tangible earth.

I'm home.

When I woke, it was already morning. I'm back on the tangible world. It would be another day spent about pondering about the superpowers, and heroes. The clock displayed digital numbers stating 10:00 AM, I woke late for my weekend chores.

My elbows propped against my lap, I leaned my forehead against my palm. Shoulders heaving because of panting, another nightmare visited the world behind reality. It was never like that night anymore - the happiness I had that night I flew, it wasn't going back anymore...

Maybe, I should call them up.

And tell them the truth.

.

.

.

I know a real hero who qualified the standards.

She qualified all of those stated earlier.

I looked at them as we stood at the rooftop. I was leaning against the rail, enjoying the wind blowing against us. They were there, all of them, since the tangible earth was wrapped by the dreamland. Oliver was standing like a silhouette. I smiled like the shit head I always am, and talked.

"Will you promise to stay with me, no matter what?"

The wind whispered, "I don't have to." Well, that's sad. "Because I already am."

I looked at my friends, I began uttering how sorry I am. I looked at my friends and told them how catastrophic I am. I looked at these people, and revealed the truth to them - the last qualification of a real superhero.

" 'She saved everyone, but she couldn't save herself.' It's a misleading quotation, you know. I know someone who can save herself, because no one can fight for her against herself. " I smiled. "I will find happiness, so let me . . ."

I leaped over the rail, my feet never touched a solid ground. Falling towards the heaven with my hair fluttering against the wind, this fall . . . it would surely hurt.

But the pain would be unlike the pain I felt when I asked Kaito . . . _Can you stay by my side when no one else would be there?_

 _"Things change, you know. Nothing remains forever, Miku. I will find the half of my life and by then, I cannot. It's reality."_

This fall wouldn't hurt the way Kaito's words hurt me, assuring that our friendship is not as "forever" as our label - best friends forever. It wouldn't hurt like how he couldn't say that I was something worth keeping. It's sad, it's sad when I gave him a place in my heart.

But I guess, people don't have similar hearts.

The pain after this fall is unlike the pain I felt when Oliver told me, _"I will not do that since you said you'll be hurt." But Oliver never heard the silent cries I screamed wordlessly._ There are times he stayed, but the future me must be that dejected.

The pain after this fall is unlike the pain I felt when Gumi never chased me back. Because she never take my goodbyes seriously. That's a good thing, but the _lack_ of initiation, _it hurts._

 _This_ pain is not going to kill my heart the way Len tore it off. This fall will not be as painful as shit when Len lied. I remember asking, _how long are you going to feel that?_

 _"For life . . . friends don't have to be together always. If you are special, you'll always be there."_

Fuck you, Len. You're never there. You lied. You're a fucking liar.

You're there when I needed you the most, just once. But only once. You thought things would just go fine with me? I hope you've seen right through me, because when I said I'd always be there, I hope you'd stay with me, too.

But you're a liar. Screw you. You forget me. You forgot me.

It isn't as painful as it was when Rin tells me that things would be fine. "It's going to be okay," then, when? Rin?

It hurts most when Rin couldn't win me from my dark self. When she gave up fighting for me against myself.

I only wanted to be saved from myself.

But no one's willing to do so.

So, Miku? Let's do it. Save yourself.

This pain, this pain, they all gave me pain. I knew gave them too. A lot. I wouldn't be forgiven, I hurt them. I should bear all the blame.

Towards the sky, I fall. Hair fluttering like thousand cherry blossoms, I caught a glimpse of my friends from the rooftop, staring. So, in the end no one's going to fight for me. From myself?

I flew down, like a Supergirl, who'd save herself from herself.

Amid the air, I felt so invincible, like a hero.


End file.
